Married Life, Motherhood, Parenthood, Uncategorized

Bill Collectors At Ma DOE!!! What Can You Do 4 Me!!!!

I stopped paying all my bills last month. My husband went on paternity leave for 6 wks when we delivered the baby.

There are only 3 states in the US that give 6 wks of paternity (disability) leave to fathers, California, Washington State & New Jersey. There aren’t many job employers that will tell you to take off time for your unborn baby’s arrival. The smaller the company the less likely they are to want to give you that time off in fear of not having someone to cover your place.

The rules to surviving in life are that you are supposed to sacrifice all happiness for it. All your happiness is suppose get flushed down a shitty ass toilet in order to start that process of survival. What does that mean for your sanity? What does that mean for your family? We live in a world where it’s supposed to be worth it to never see your children because you’re making ends meet to pay all the bills. Where did this lie begin to make sense to the masses?

I went to apply for food stamps down at my social services a couple of weeks ago & was denied because I didn’t have enough paperwork to prove how poor I was. The social worker then asked me why would the father of my children take paternity leave if the bills weren’t going to be paid? We now have a title for postpartum depression. Because we had no names for our many ailments of the past, they went undiagnosed. My husband is my diagnosis for postpartum depression.

The system stays screwing us with no lube ya know. You actually are paid for taking paternity leave. It’s not received until you are back at work & it’s claimed as a disability. Now what’s the point in the check being received after you have returned back to work? The claim covers 2/3 of what you may actually make with a max out that is different from state to state. It can also take anywhere from 6 to 8 wks after the father has returned back to work to process the claim, then another 2 months to receive payment. So basically we are made to suffer as much as possible prior to being paid anything for claims. At this present moment I have over 20 different numbers that call my phone wondering when I’ll pay them. My new ringtone is silent.
Who cares if you’ve worked your entire life away to pay a government that will work harder to not return your dollar back to you when you need it?

I’ve had a job since 12 yrs old. I lost my job back in April of 2015. It took 2 months for my unemployment to come in. I only received it for 4 months because they put me on a 6 wk suspension. I emptied my 401k to survive the 2 month stretch yet still had to apply and go through a rigorous process to take back my own money. Once the unemployment ran out in Dec of 2015 I told myself I’d begin looking for work Feb 1st considering most places aren’t hiring until after the holidays are completely over. I was in a horrible car accident on Jan 31st 2016. The healing process became the new concern. I became pregnant in March of 2016. The rest is kind of history.

The support system that a family needs to bring a new life force into the world is a significant & profound part of developing safety for the child! My village is important regardless of what others may think & I’ll prove it in later posts. Society tries to make us forget those things in order to pay bills. Paying bills is not why we were born. Paying bills doesn’t give you the same feeling that you can get from achieving your goals. Paying bills DO give you some form of financial stability that helps you create the climate of comfortability. It also takes you away from your family and ambitions if you’re doing the wrong thing to create revenue into your home. BILLS BILLS BILLS. Subconsciously, songs, your parents, your teachers, friends and all facets of society make u think that life is about paying bills. “Ain’t nothing going on but the rent! You got to have a J-O-B if you wanna be with me. No romance without finance.” Gwen Guthrie said it best. But please remember while having a job & paying bills do reside on the (supposed) finer side of life please do remember that the true finer side is health, love & fulfilling your dreams. Don’t forget to be the change you want for your family. Your past doesn’t have to dictate your future based on the superficial standards that have been taught to us. Traditions are what keep us living in the past. Traditions are what we hold on to with our holidays. Traditions are what our children learn & believe they need, to be right in the world. Traditions is how we can “Make America Great Again.”. Over a decade ago I read something that stated “Tradition becomes our security, and when the mind is secure, it is in decay.” – Krishnamurti. I took so much from that statement & realized I could become whomever I wanted. It doesn’t have to be based off anything I’ve been taught. I’m more concerned with finding peace & the good of the world within me first. Peace & good rather than right or wrong.

Who you gonna be today?

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